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A beautiful and nevertheless not boring day of the last summer! Held with my Lomo LC-A on Kodak Ektachrome ISO 100 EB3.Two Men´s with a one Mission.Goal was the Holidaypark in Haßloch, which with me in the proximity is.
Pictures of the last summer/KAMERA:Praktica Super TL1000/FILM:ORWO NP15 iso25 //Black and white,schwarz weis,ORWO,NP15,iso25,Strand,Beach,Sand,Praktica,GDR,Pentacon,Dresden,lomo,Kb,Kleinbildfim,35mm,abgelaufen,Biblis,Hessen,
Pictures of the last summer/KAMERA:Praktica Super TL1000/FILM:ORWO NP15 iso25 //Black and white,schwarz weis,ORWO,NP15,iso25,Strand,Beach,Sand,Praktica,GDR,Pentacon,Dresden,lomo,Kb,Kleinbildfim,35mm,abgelaufen,Biblis,Hessen,
Various Cams loaded with Fomaspeed for the Negs, Dev was to fat, so the Negs are a bit cloudy. Contacts on Foma Variant with Paper exposure app and my Axomat Mini i have always on Board.
This is 1 of 2 rolls of expired film given to me. I shot this roll of Fuji Superia xtra 400 (expired in 2014) just for fun at a local state park back on 4/4/2021 with my Nikon FE and 35mm f/2. I developed this roll at home, "scanned" it with my DSLR and converted the negatives to positives using Negative Lab Pro. It was a nice and refreshing experience to just shoot this roll for fun, to notice my surroundings and try to capture whatever caught my eye (not knowing how it might turn out since it was expired and prepare myself that if it was a "complete loss" it wouldn't be the end of the world--at least I enjoyed the shooting experience). The developing and scanning process helped me to continue to grow in film photography and as a person as well. I'm thankful for what I've learned and for the many kind and gifted people in the Lomography community who have shared their images and encouraged and inspired me to keep shooting film and learning. I can see a positive change in my view of my photos and that seems to match how I am changing as a person over time--less critical of myself and my photos, open to learning and growing as a person and a photographer, and more open to the beautiful imperfections both in myself and in my photos.
Inside looking out
Hiding down in the dark basement
Trapped in the terror of my trauma
Looking through the dirty, broken window
I cannot see clearly
This what I’ve always known
I don’t see what everyone else sees
My vision is tinted by the colors of fear, distrust, danger, terror
Am I crazy?
Am I really here?
Am I safe?
Is this real?
Am I purely weak, faithless, fleshly?
Fading away
I criticize myself
I physically harm myself
I want to die
Will I ever be “normal?”
Slowly learning, growing, changing
These “weaknesses” are in fact God-given gifts
My body’s way of helping me survive the terror of the unspeakable
So I do what I can to rewire my brain
So indescribably difficult
So misunderstood
All the small efforts are huge victories
My view is clouded by the window I look through
God’s Grace meets me there
He comforts me and enables me to grow
As I look through the dirty, broken window
I can see there is beauty and light, even here among the pain and difficulties too great for words
In the middle, without being “cured” or “healed”
Ben and Abigail peeling and grating potatoes for potato salad that Gideon requested for his birthday meal. I was so overwhelmed and didn’t feel capable of making potato salad and wanted to be able to make what Gideon requested. Ben told me he would do it, so I just helped with it and felt less pressure and overwhelm not having to do it alone. I was very thankful for Ben and Abigail’s help and that our family ended up enjoying working on this together.
Pieces of a puzzle the kids were working on that also seemed to have some shadows too. I really appreciated the colors of the puzzle pieces and found looking at them to be therapeutic. Thankful I was able to notice this little “kids were here” moment.
